• Ashley Valli

Weird/Random Facts About Me

Updated: May 27, 2018


My knee is not-so-secretly an evil, grinning alien.

1. I'm surprised you haven't guessed, but I'm a tragic photo taker.

Slouching is a hobby I passionately devote myself to. Over-doing it in photos is another. For a successful photo, most involve someone having to take the photo without me realising it.


Exhibit A

2. Up until last year, I thought eggs were a type of meat.

In my defence, it's arguably meat. It comes from an animal — and is an animal itself (c'mon, it's an egg!).


3. Running is my ultimate stress relief.

It's kind of hard to think there are more pressing problems at hand when you're struggling for breath. Seriously, try worrying about money on a full bore sprint. You can't.


4. I can't cook. Still.

How do I defend the fact I've been living away from my parents for almost six years now, and I still can't cook? Last month I turned garlic bread into charcoal. And I still can't look at chicken the same since my last home-made encounter.


5. I speak 0.00001% Cantonese.

Please. No gasping in the audience. When your boyfriend migrates from China to Australia at three-years-old, you can more than likely gather that his family is going to be second language. Cantonese is one of the hardest languages there is, with over seven different tones to it (e.g. "ah" might equal one thing, but "AH" can mean something entirely different, and so could "aah" or "ah"). Lucky me, I finally found a language I want to learn — it just so happens it's in the hardest category of languages there is.


Just look at the mug on this one!

6. I was a manic drawer.

Up until 15, before I decided I didn't like learning art as much as practicing it, I was a manic drawer. I used to have scrapbooks and scrapbooks at home filled to the brink with little sketches and cartoons. My drawing of choice: animals. I even had an old cartoon dog I loved sketching comics of called "Bingham": a rascally, yellow don't-even-know-what-breed-to-call-it dog.


7. I used to write song lyrics.

Oh god. I cringe as I write this. I think it was Year 8 I used to cart around a scrapbook of my own song lyrics everywhere I went. It was so angsty. People saw it. Oh god. Why.


8. I worked at Target for almost six years.

From the Bunbury Target as a teenager to Victoria Park Target (R.I.P former Target aka. new Kmart) as a uni student, I knew the ins and outs as a checkout chick for the longest time. It can range anywhere from a chat with a lovely old lady to being told you look prettier with your mouth shut by a 60-something-year-old man (sounds bad, but I was laughing).


Working the hard work.

9. I'm a shisha fiend.

Did you know there's like ten shisha joints in Perth that don't get utilised even nearly enough? It's an introvert's paradise, with none of that extra effort needed like with clubbing or going to a bar. You sit down with your mates and you shish'. Current favourite: The Hairy Persian.


10. Horror movies are the best

You know what you can't get in any other genre? Intense character development. In horror, characters are put to the ultimate test — and, obviously, the sicko' writer in me loves this. Best movies? Stephen King's The Mist and Creep.


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